An Open Letter to the Moving Gods

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Dear Moving Gods,

I hope this letter finds you well. I just want to say off the top, whatever I’ve done to offend you, I am truly sorry. I ask you—no, beseech you to forgive me and let things go back to even just semi-normal.

The fact that three days after a somewhat rough move (in sweltering heat, no less) we get the news that there’s a strong, strong possibility that we’re going to have to move again … in about a year … to Connecticut … well that’s just mean. Connecticut? Moving Gods, I thought we were cool. I packed up and came here to Montclair, and now you send this my way? I’m sure you understand why I felt it necessary to write this letter, in apology for my misstep that salted our otherwise agreeable relationship.

Asking for forgiveness, I know, will not alter the facts: By this time next year, the odds are that we will be organizing yet another big move to yet another “New.” That being New England. We still haven’t hung anything on the walls. Imagining doing this all over again? I can’t.

Moving Gods, you know I’ve put in my share of time with you. The Barbados rats situation is penance enough, no?

Look, I get that life isn’t static. Things move. People move.  It’s just that my anxiety around this New Jersey relocation hasn’t even had a chance to be dispelled before a new crop of concerns have taken up residence in my mind. Surely you see my side of it, right?

Basically, my issues with this very possible CT  plan can be grouped into two  categories: Logistics and Community.

Even though Connecticut is still Tri-State, we’ll be farther away from NYC. My move to the States was wholly based on being a writer living/thriving/surviving in the media and literary center. CT is a good two hours away from NYC. No good.

At least from NJ my husband can go into his Midtown office (the same one he’s been going to for TEN years), and I can  get on a train and be in the middle of it all in 30 minutes. CT? We’re talking looong train rides and being stuck in traffic. No good.

In Montclair, my in-laws are about 45 minutes away. (A very blessed thing, we discovered during the move.) We don’t know anyone in CT. We would have to start from zero in terms of making friends and finding the best grocery stores and discovering cute spots. That is if there are any “cute” anythings there. *sulk*

Let’s just go here right quick: I don’t want to be the only (or one of two) black person up in the joint. I’ve played that role before. No good.

And even though my son has a few years before we’re talking about school, I don’t want QB to be the only black kid there either. Never good.

Then there’s my other community: the writers. Is there a real artists’ community in CT? I don’t know, Moving Gods, I’m asking. Writing is primarily a solo, private thing, but I need to be around my people … even if we’re just hunkered down at some wobbly table at coffee shop with free WiFi, typing away on our laptops with earphones on and making very limited eye-contact. Sounds awful, but it’s what we do. At least in Brooklyn. *sulk more*

So what am I going to do after my moment of mope? Well, Moving Gods, I should warn you, I have a secret weapon known here as my husband (and sometimes The Dada). And he reminded me of something rather important in all of this: Far too often we look at things in terms of what we’ve lost and not what we stand to gain.

This means that for the next 14 months, I’m going to ride this Montclair ride to the wheels pop off. And I’ll keep my eyes focused forward because what’s ahead of me could be good. So, so good.

Yours in hopefulness,


  • 1
    michelle says:

    hey Nicole
    why CT? did your husband get a job there? Also, where in CT – I know of some really great communities there although not sure how diverse :(

    • 1.1
      Ms. Mack says:

      Hi, Michelle! The husband’s magazine is moving to the headquarters in Bristol, CT. I’ve been to Bristol many times when I worked for, and it ain’t pretty. It’s ESPN and that’s about it in that town. Not sure where we would live if we end up going along with the company move, though. Please do let me know of the cool cities/towns and those communities. Thanks for reading and for the comment.