Trying to Find Our Way Back to Regular

Monday, March 26, 2012

We’re having a rough go of things. The Youngster is now waking up at 1:30 a.m. and resisting going back to his bed. He wants someone in there with him, rubbing his back — or just sitting close by, breathing — as he falls asleep. It’s as though he still doesn’t trust that we’re here to stay, and we’ve been back just over a week. He’ll say to me, randomly, “Mommy, you’re back. And you’re not going anywhere.” It’s on his mind.

I’m struggling, friends. Really. My mind and heart have been so fixed on trying to help our son getting back to his settled center that I even forgot about Ms. Mary Mack‘s second blogiversary. (It was March 22.)

We’re all getting over/through various stages of colds and flus. No one is getting proper sleep here, and all I keep feeling is regret. I know it sounds silly, maybe even hysterical, but it’s quite true when I say that I now regret going to Italy. I do. Seeing our little guy so rattled by all of it … feels horrible.

And I find myself somewhat irritated at all the well-meaning people who told me — talking me down from the ledge — that the kid will be fine and there’s nothing for me to worry about, “just go to Italy and have fun!” Well, he’s not quite fine.┬áNow what?

Anyway, just send some positive energy, folks. I’d most appreciate that. We’ll get back to our Regular Flying Pattern soon — I really believe this — but right now, we’re just holding on tight as we move through this bit of turbulence.

  • 1
    Tracey says:

    My 7yo gives me a hard time when I go out of town for one day, so I can only imagine what you’re dealing with.

    I’m sending positive vibes your way. :) Hang in there.

  • 2
    Erin says:

    It is hard now, but I’m sure he’ll get through this tough time soon. I bet you had some great memories in Italy and it’ll be fun to remember those. And if you hadn’t have gone, you probably would have regretted that too. Can’t win! Kids are tough, he’ll get through this, especially with all the love you give him.

  • 3
    Ashley says:

    Kids are resilient. As my mom says, “they won’t remember this. You will.”
    Just meaning he won’t even remember the “traumatic” trip to Italy in a few years. He’ll be secure again soon (promise… E went through something very similar after I was away at hospital having baby sis). Things will be back to normal soon. For now, just hold him tight when he asks. It won’t be long now before they’re grown and we’ll miss those middle-of-the-night back rubbing sessions. And exhaustion could be worse… you could be up with a newborn too! ;) Hang in, Mama.

    • 3.1
      Ms. Mary Mack says:

      Thanks, Mamas! Your comments and positive energy are fantastic!