Parenthood Meant Leaving Like-Crazy Behind

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Over the holiday weekend, I had the good fortune of finding something called free time. I know. What the hell is that? My husband took our son to this kiddie museum/fun house for a couple of hours while I got to stay home. Man, listen. I was practically spinning around in place, giddy, trying to think of the best way to use those few hours.

So after cleaning up the kitchen and folding some laundry (Blades, you’re ruining this!), I decided to watch a movie. No, not in an actual cinema. Let’s calm down, now. I scrolled through Netflix to see what I could stream. I landed on this Sundance darling from last year.

 

Like Crazy is about a British college student who falls in deep, thick, blissful love with an American student. However the two are soon separated after she overstays her visa and gets banned from the U.S.

I ended up watching half of it on the TV and the rest on my iPhone on my weekend day to “sleep in.” Oh, we so tech ’round here. It’s good movie. I liked many things about it: the actors, the writing, the production (it was shot, fabulously, on a Canon dSLR). What I liked less? How it left me a weepy mess on a crisp Sunday morning.

To explain … the movie is definitely misty-eyed material. Most good love stories are affecting that way. But that wasn’t what left me feeling weird and open and choked-up. It’s that this movie, in some strange and surprising way, highlighted how different and distant my life is from those Like-Crazy days. Without going too far into it here, I’ll just say that ours is a glorious love story. This man I married, we were in deep and thick and blissful and whirlwind and wholehearted. And now that we’re parents, our love has drilled down to a deeper level, hitting a bedrock I didn’t even know was there.

But it’s not those like-crazy days, and the truth is I felt wistful. My nostalgic look back left me feeling a little sad that our Like-Crazy is behind us. For good. And for the better, I think, because we’re here now in this richer other chapter of our love story. Plus, we have those earlier pages of Our Book dog-eared, so we can always go back and read them.

2 Comments
  • 1
    Kristin says:

    You’re much better at verbalizing where those weepers come from. I sometimes have sobs when watching a film, or when reading a book. And yes, they are often related to a time I won’t get back – nor do I want it back! The emotion was just so delicious and raw and open and REAL.

    While the staid life of solid parenthood has its perks, and while the routine is comforting, I do miss the unknown – the adrenalin rush of possibles.

    I’ll have to check out this film.

    • 1.1
      Ms. Mary Mack says:

      Glad to know you’ve been there too! And, yes, delicious, raw, open, real. Think you verbalized ALL of that quite well, my friend.

      Let me know what you think of the movie if you get the chance to watch it.