Global Mamas: Czech Republic

We’re profiling one mother from every country on the planet. (Current tally: 17 down, 175 countries to go!)

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Meet  Virginia Calderon. She’s a…

Here’s her story …

Photo by Virginia Calderon

Life before baby …
I was always a free spirit all my life. I never had a set plan. I just did things in the heat of the moment.  Always just doing what I felt like doing … which kind of explains how I moved to Prague on a whim.

Before I moved to Prague, I lived in New York City. I worked a lot, put played a lot too. I loved living in the city, going out a night, hanging with friends.

My ideas about motherhood …
I never thought about having children, I always thought if it was meant to be it would happen organically … and it did.  The only thing I did know was that I wanted to travel and see a lot of the world before I settled down, which I was able to accomplish. It was only when I got into my 30s that I thought about settling down and having children.

Then came baby …
The first couple of months were pretty hard because everything was so new.  I did read some books, but I’m not sure how much they helped as I don’t even remember what was in them. The biggest change was the amount of sleep I was use to getting. Even when I was pregnant I was able to sleep pretty well.  When Max came along, that all changed and I was completely sleep-deprived. Now 14 months later, I’m still sleep-deprived, although I’ve gotten more used to it.

The most challenging part of motherhood …
Giving birth was really tough for me, even though it was a smooth as could be — only five hours. I had no complications and a very easy pregnancy. But when he was born, I was scared that I wouldn’t know what to do.  After all the nervousness goes away, though, you just do the best you can. (I just want to be able to sleep in one day!)

On balancing work and life …
When I moved to the Czech Republic, it was hard for me to get a regular office job because my Czech is not very good. So I did the only thing I could do: work freelance. I did PR and marketing for international clients. I worked a lot because that’s what I was used to doing coming from New York where I use to work 15-hour days.

Then came baby … and things changed.  Now my Number One priority is Max. After he was born, I stopped working and became a stay-at-home mom. But now that he’s 14 months, I decided I wanted to work again, so I work part-time for a company that I founded.  We’re just getting off the ground, but I have a great partner who doesn’t have children and is a very hard worker and understands that I can only work two days a week.

The best part about raising a child in the Czech Republic …
It’s very baby-friendly here!  It’s not strange to go to a restaurant and see babies in strollers or mothers breastfeeding. When you go to malls, there are always pink parking spots right next to the handicap spaces for parents with babies.

Also being in Prague (Central Eastern Europe) you are surrounded by so many different cultures and languages. We can get in a car and be in a different country with a different language and architecture within three hours!  We are bordered by Germany, Slovakia, Austria, and Poland.  But it’s very easy to even drive to Switzerland, Croatia, Hungry, etc.

The healthcare system in the Czech Republic is beyond great and healthcare is very affordable! They have one of the lowest infant mortality rates in the world, much lower than the U.S.

Also, while community-style parenting is alive and well in the villages, Prague is a major city and like major cities around the world it’s hard to know all your neighbors. Prague is also a very transient city, people come and go.

The parts that I wish were different …
At first it was hard living here because the Czechs, one could say, are cold. They are just not very inviting … but it’s part of their culture. However, once you get to know how people are, you get used to it. Also the language has been difficult, my Czech is TERRIBLE!

And I miss my family; they still live in Boston. Extended family plays a big part here in CZ. You always see grandparent with babies walking in the parks.

Best piece of advice I ever heard …
You’re never going to get everything perfect. Just do the best you can.

If we could jump into the DeLorean and race back in time …
I would tell myself to RELAX — it does get easier. I remember in those first three months thinking that it was really really hard and that I wasn’t sure how I was gong to get through it!

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We’ve got 175 countries to go (yeah, whoa.). So if you would like to nominate a mother living and raising families aboard to be featured on MMM’s Global Mama’s series, do let us know! Drop a line to: get[dot]msmack[at]gmail[dot]com.

Global Mamas: England

We’re profiling one mother from every country on the planet. (Current tally: 16 down, 176 countries to go!)

Meet Catherine Batac Walder, mom of 21-month-old baby girl “Little M.” Catherine’s fiction and other works have been published in her native Philippines and abroad in Fine Books and Collections, Practical Boat Owner and Ruin and Resolve. She moved across Norway, Finland and Portugal from 2005  to 2007 on a European M.Phil. scholarship, and then worked as a research group administrator at the Department of Earth Sciences, Royal Holloway University of London. Catherine, now a “full-time wife, mother and boat sweeper,” lives in South East England.

Here’s her story …

Photo by Catherine Batac Walder

Life before baby …
I left home for the first time at 17 to study at a University of the Philippines (UP) college in the mountains. After that I worked in Manila for almost seven years. The work and commute in Manila was hard but I look at that now as part of my treasured memories of my home country. I looked forward to coming home to our family house in the province during weekends. There had been a few heartaches, the biggest of which was losing my father to stroke (he wasn’t even 57). Two months after he had died, I learned that I landed that scholarship to study in Norway, Finland and Portugal. It was hard especially for my mother that I had to leave that same year. But she was supportive as she knew it was my dream.

My ideas about motherhood …
In my early 20s, I taught special needs children. Being surrounded by children, I knew I would someday like to have my own. And I knew that I wanted to be a hands-on mom. I liked working with children. That was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life … until my daughter was born.

Then came baby …
I actually made voice tapes during the first few weeks about the whole giving birth experience and coming home after that. Listening to them again recently made me realized how scared I sounded. There was a part when I started talking about how Little M was becoming a handful — she was colicky — and wondering how I would manage.

In the beginning, I was really nervous, as I had never looked after anyone younger than five before. I had to rely on books. I took a lot of notes. My husband and I read articles and shared what we read with each other. We agreed that it was amazing how much we have learned only after a few months of parenting.

I became more relaxed… but then came weaning and I started to panic again! I made charts and was really concerned I might not be giving proper nutrition to my baby. At around nine months, I stopped relying on articles and charts and just followed my instincts. Now I feel everything just comes naturally.

Like most parents, the biggest changes are seen in decisions that we make, that is, they are now all for Little M’s future. We became more practical. We moved into our new house before her first birthday. We love it, but the decision to buy in the neighborhood was primarily influenced by the good schools in the catchment area (and a bonus that friends live just down the road). Lifestyle-wise, travel and our monthly theater excursions took a backseat … which is not a problem, really, as we enjoy being at home as much as travelling. Plus, there are other things to do that a toddler could also enjoy.

The most challenging part of motherhood …
Having a child is no joke! Here is somebody who will rely on me for everything. There’s no excuse for being ill and staying in bed, otherwise, the baby will go hungry, among other things. When she cries and there comes a point when it feels annoying, I suddenly remember it’s because she doesn’t know anything, she can express herself only through crying. I remind myself to simply enjoy her being needy while it lasts.

The responsibility of taking care of someone, of making sure that she is always safe — and then later teaching her and instilling in her values —  just seem like huge tasks.

On balancing work and life …
I’m a stay-at-home mom. Childminder [nanny] services are really expensive over here. To be able to stay at home to look after my family, write, sew, garden or do something creative is just perfect for me right now.

My husband is supportive, but of course you meet people who don’t know what it’s like to look after a child. Some think that stay-at-home moms must be bored to death. Someone asked me once, “So, what do you do when she sleeps?” It’s not an eight-hour job. When they’re asleep (if they do at all), that’s the time you can catch up on what you normally do. I have great admiration for moms who can juggle both career and family.

Most of my life I had been either studying or working, or both. In a way this is like slowing down for me but who knew that a little person could be just as challenging and exhausting. Also, with a baby you don’t notice how quickly time flies. I can see now that this will turn out to be the best decision, to have the opportunity to watch the early years of my child and witness every milestone. There’s nothing more enjoyable than watch a child enjoy herself doing something new. However cliché it might sound, I’m seeing the world through the eyes of a child and it’s been amazing. It’s that stage when the child wants nothing else except your presence, your touch, your smile; when your achievements or social status or titles don’t matter and you can just be mom.

The best part about raising a child in England …
I like that we live in the countryside. Every morning we see horses on the farm from across the road in the comforts of our front room. It takes only 50 minutes to an hour to drive to cities like Oxford and London; 10 minutes to an hour to get to anywhere pretty interesting. Little M and I go out for walks almost everyday. Step out the door and 30 minutes later, we would have already circled the woods nearby.

Home births are highly recommended here. As I recall you get to have two midwives present during a home birth. I actually booked for a home birth myself, since you could change your mind if you’d like to go to hospital at the last minute, but not the other way around.

During pregnancy, you are required to meet with the community midwife and the GP so they can monitor you and give support. I had a difficult childbirth so the midwife (a different one everyday) visited me at home for a week to check on me, the baby’s weight, to see how I breastfeed, etc. Most new mothers appreciate this. I know that they were just there to help but after a harrowing birth experience, all I wanted was to be with my baby, rest and not worry about visits. Once the midwife discharges you, you are then handed over to the care of the Health Visitor. There are a group of them assigned in each area and time and again, one would visit or phone you just to ask how you’re getting on.

The parts I wish were different …
I can’t help but compare what I am used to when I talk about raising a child in the UK. There are obviously residents here who are not satisfied with the systems, may it be healthcare, education, etc. Like anywhere, there are certain parts of the UK that are not ideal for raising a child. But everything is relative. In my experience so far, it is better than what we have in the Philippines. For that I am grateful and privileged to be able to raise a child here.

I’m not a fan of how “commercialized” parenting is over here, and maybe this is how it is for most developed nations. Not that we are affected by the market at all. We buy baby stuff that we truly need.

I don’t stop missing my family and the Philippines but I never feel homesick. I appreciate that my baby was born in a developed country, but sometimes I still wish she would have my childhood. It is not only an entirely different country, but an entirely different generation — a hi-tech one. I would want her to play in the sun, soil her hands, play old-fashioned games. I’m sure that she’ll have her own happy memories: snow, apple trees, red squirrels, castles, and all those things that I often dreamed of as a little girl.

Best piece of advice I ever heard …
I remember our GP (general practitioner) telling me something like, “Sometimes everything doesn’t need to be perfect,” when she saw how bad I felt that I couldn’t produce enough milk and had to top up with formula. I guess all of us have this idea of trying to make everything perfect for that little person, like he/she was our only chance to have a clean slate, as it were. But there are things we can’t control. I almost forgot that like anything, there are bound to be disappointments in parenting and that I should be prepared for them.

If we could jump into the DeLorean and race back in time …
I would simply say: Catherine, sometimes everything doesn’t need to be perfect. This advice applies to almost anything.

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Read more about Catherine Batac Walder on her blog Deck Shoes.

Global Mamas: Brazil

We’re profiling one mother from every country on the planet. (Current tally: 15 down, 177 countries to go!)

Meet 31-year-old Iovanna Gico Roller. She came to us by way of another mama who lives in Brooklyn, (definitely one of the most Global cities on earth). Iovanna’s 1.5-year-old son Lucca entered the picture as she planned for another big moment in life, changing her for the better.

Here’s her story …

Photo by Iovanna Gico Roller

Life before baby …
I never saw myself as a mother. Didn’t really have the time to think about. I knew I would have babies, but that was “someday.” My attention was on being good career woman: efficient, smart, making lots of money. My dreams were about the huge house and international travels. In my family, the running joke was that I would end up being the party-crazy aunt who gives her nieces and nephews strange toys from around the world.

All that changed, in a crazy way, on November 7, 2010.

In January 2010, my husband-to-be took me to Paris as a gift. He proposed there! It was a big surprise. Everything was as beautiful and perfect as any girl could dream. I got back to Brazil and started to plan my wedding. Since, I worked for Vera Wang, I had to have the wedding! Kate Middleton would bite herself, after she saw my wedding. Ha!

Suddenly, I notice myself crying all the time. I couldn’t see any silly commercial without crying. The reason? I was pregnant.

Chosen Flowers — Canceled

Beauty Salon Reserved — Canceled

Everything… Canceled

But I wasn’t completely devastated. Well, part of me was sad about the canceled wedding plan, but then I thought: another Iovanna was coming to the world. A better one! A less selfish, less materialist one. One with a baby who will truly understand the real meaning of LIFE.

My ideas about motherhood …
My plan for babies was to have two of them, starting around the age of 33 when I had my career and house all set up. But our plans are not God’s plan, so I got pregnant when I was 29. Not too far off!

Then came baby …
I fell in love with the idea of having a baby about a week after I found out I pregnant. But when I gave birth, I was kind of tense that first week.  The only thing i could think of was whether I would have the money to give him a good life.

I think I changed a lot. I became more gentle, more focused on important things.

The most challenging part of motherhood …
No sleep!

I also struggle with this weird feeling whenever I watch bad news on TV. I start thinking too much about all of that and pray that nothing bad happens to my child.

On balancing work and life …
For three years I’ve been studying to get a better job here in Brazil. If you want to work for the government, you must take an exam competing with the whole country. It’s something like 1,000 people applying — competing — for one place. Very hard to pass, but once you get in, no worries for the rest of your life.

I got pregnant in the middle of my studies. So I had to stop for some months. Now I’m  back to my routine: 10 hours/day of study. I had to hire a babysitter to be with my son. It is terrible, because I only have couple of hours a day to play with him. But to give hime the best quality life, I have to work a lot.

The best part about raising a child in Brazil …
When it comes to raising a child, I believe in Dorothy (from The Wizard of Oz)’s philosophy: “There is no place like home.” Here, my son has contact with nature, lots of open space and his entire family. We have good schools (not public, for sure), no fast food (at least it’s not part of our habit) and it is financially possible to hire somebody to take care of the house.

The parts I wish were different …
There’s a lot of violence in Brazil, and we don’t have good public school or transportation. In general, it is more expensive to raise a child in Brazil than the States — at least if you want to give the same quality of life.

If we could jump into the DeLorean and race back in time …
I would tell myself, “Make more movies of this child! And enjoy every second, because time flys far too quickly.”

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If you would like to nominate a mother living outside of the United States to be featured in theGlobal Mamas series, please send an e-mail to: get[dot]msmack [at] gmail [dot] com.

Global Mamas: Haiti

We’re profiling one mother from every country on the planet. (Current tally: 14 down, 178 countries to go!)

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We’ve long said that it does’t matter if you’re a mother of 7-month-old or a 7-year-old, you have something valuable to share and we want to hear it. So, meet Fabienne Colimon. She’s a proud single mother of now-grown daughter living and “thriving” in Haiti.

Here’s her story …

Photo by Fabienne Colimon

Life before baby …
I grew up in a very traditional and conventional family. Growing up, I needed to ask for permission to go everywhere.  I participated in many activities.  I went to the beach, disco, movies, visited friends, and of course, in Haiti Mardi Gras was a must.

My ideas about motherhood …
My dream was to find a “Prince Charming.”  He and I would fall in love, and he would (as is the custom in our culture) request my hand. Then we would have a lovely home and two little girls.

But these ideas absolutely changed. Hopes and dreams aside, I became involved with a married man and got pregnant. That changed everything.  Needless to say, our relationship was complex. Upon learning of my pregnancy, he asked me to get an abortion. I refused and asked him to get out of our lives. Single mother hood was something I knew would be difficult, but I also knew I would and could thrive and survive. Aborting my baby was something I knew I would regret.

Then came baby …
Being a single mother in Haiti has traditionally been taboo. The expectation is that dream: Girl meets Prince. Prince marries girl. They build a beautiful home and have beautiful children. And everyone lives happily ever after.

When my father found out I was pregnant  he cried and asked me why I had done this to him.  I imagine that he cried for the disappointment and fear of what my life and my daughter’s life would be like.  However, Nastassia was born and her birth was a joy and blessing for our family.  She was (and still is) the adored child. My parents doted on her.

The most challenging part of motherhood …
Single motherhood overall is challenging. There is no doubt about that. The challenges are financial. The challenges are emotional. I am certain that my daughter has experienced difficulty because a single mother raised her … which is painful to think about.

While I have adored, loved and raised my child in the best way possible, I cannot take the place of a father. I never asked him to leave his wife and never asked him to contribute. I feel very strongly that I should not have had to ask him to face his responsibilities to our child in the same way he did to his three other children.

On balancing work and life …
I worked until the day before I gave birth. My maternity leave lasted for about 1.5 months. Once I returned to work, I was able to have a nanny care for my daughter. Every morning on my way to work, I would drop the nanny and my daughter off at my parents for the day. As with most mothers, it was difficult to leave her, but I had to earn a living to care for her. We all do what we have to do.

The best part about raising a child in Haiti …
Family is the center of life here. My siblings have children, and my daughter has had the benefit of being raised with her many cousins. We had family dinners on Saturday and Sunday, a tradition that continues.  Community is alive and thriving in Haiti. The Hillary Clinton, phrase, “it takes a village to raise a child” is the truth in Haiti. Extended family is very involved in helping raise children.

I feel blessed to have raised my daughter in Haiti. We have a rich and beautiful culture and I made sure that she was able to take advantage of it all. Nastassia has had the very best that Haiti has to offer and her foundation is solid. However, Haiti does not have a public assistance program. I’m glad that we were fortunate enough that we did not lack for anything.

Best piece of advice I ever heard …
After the birth of my daughter, my father told me that my priority was now my daughter and that my life had changed. At that moment I became and remain to this day devoted to my daughter’s well-being.

If we could jump into the DeLorean and race back in time …
I would tell myself not to worry. In spite of any difficulties that lie ahead, all will be well.

I have raised an intelligent, talented, well-adjusted, and beautiful young woman. She is well on her way to be being successful. She is my legacy and my greatest accomplishment.  Not all women are meant to be mothers. I was. Motherhood is a gift I have been given and one which I cherish.

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If you would like to nominate a mother living outside of the United States to be featured in the Global Mamas series, please send an e-mail to: get[dot]msmack [at] gmail [dot] com.